Last night marked five days. Yesterday, I was still feeling the physical symptoms of diahrea and fatigue, but I pushed through it and put in a full day at my job. It was difficult. This morning I am feeling better but have no idea what to expect. I know I can’t do Oxycontin any longer and I feel confident, but I know myself well enough to know that dedication can melt in the face of rationalization.
This morning, thinking back on how this all happened, and doing so within the context of this being my sixth day of what is probably the worst crash I have known over that time period, I realized just how much of the drug I was taking. I don’t think I realized it before, but I can’t remember going more than seven days without it in the past 26 weeks. When I get to seven days I don’t know what to expect because I haven’t gone that far. I really had never thought about it.
I crashed before, but none as horrific as this. Every time that I was feeling better, I rationalized that I was o.k. and that going to get more Oxy was no big deal. I reasoned that it was merely a type of recreation and that, if I could quit for a few days, then it was no big deal. However, reflecting back upon it now, I see that the problem was not quitting until I felt better, but rather quitting in the face of feeling better.
OxyContin
2 comments:
The very best of luck in quitting your addiction. Thanks so much for writing this blog; The more information about these opiates out there produced by users, the better (in my opinion as a chronic pain patient!). I admire and respect your bravery. :)
"Due to my chronic back pain my Dr. Had prescribed Oxycontin, until it became difficult for me to obtain that medicine. Luckily an old Army buddy of mine told me about www.PainClinicColombia.com Now my treatment is the way it should be, according to his opinion. Dr. Aluma, thanks so much.
Post a Comment