I had been off Suboxone for a week and a day. Feet like concrete blocks, dying for sleep, I wondered when it would end. Granted, withdrawal from Suboxone wasn't even as horrible as a full blown OxyContin detox, it was difficult nonetheless. On the 8th day, I reached into a recycle bin where I had saved several of those little brown prescription pill bottles that had once contained Suboxone, and I poked into each one with my finger, licking off a thin, barely visible coating of orange powder. The difference between withdrawal from Oxy and Suboxone is that Oxy is more debilitating, but you'll feel a little bit better each day. With Suboxone, you won't be lying in a pool of vomit shaking like a chihuahua, but you will feel tired, weak, and generally ill, but most of all you'll be left wondering, day after day, if it will ever get better.
It will.
There's one other really significant difference between withdrawal from the two drugs. When I was using Oxy, I can remember two serious withdrawal episodes, and although I did feel a little better after a few days, I was left with huge cravings. Each time I tried to get off Oxy, a few days later I would stumble and fall face first into a big powdery pile of OC. With Suboxone I felt lifeless for weeks on end, but I didn't feel the need to go get high. Not at all. The reason? My shrink says this: it's all about conditioning. After 18 months on Suboxone, my brain no longer connected the dots between Oxy and feeling bad (or good). Conditioning is, after all, what the whole program is all about.
It's not a whole hell of a lot different from Nicorette or Commit, the two nicotine substitutes for smokers. Take Commit instead of a smoke, you'll get the nicotine you need, and after a long enough period of time, your brain will forget to light up. Same thing with Suboxone.
I just wish it hadn't taken so long to feel better after quitting Suboxone. It's been 90 days. I am now feeling almost 100% back to normal. The upside? Methadone is a lot worse, or so they say. Best of all, I don't need no stinking Oxy. Game over.
What's next?
Love,
Gus
Monday, June 18, 2007
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27 comments:
woah. As i said, Im on methadone.. people come off it differently. Have you ever tried methadone for longer than a week?
good luck with all that. stay humble or the oc's will kick you in the ass.
maaaan i beeen on subs i beeen on methadone and i been on oc they all suck....and i love em at the same time eccept for thr subs i still crave oc n all oppiates mabye cuz everyone i kno is on them its hard
It took me about 2 years of really messing around with the Subs to get with the program, and then get off of the program. My doc is a really supportive guy but he is not and addict, and though, valiantly, day after day, he tries to help people, this is Alaska, man, drug Hell.
It has been 90+ days for me too, and although some days I feel better, there are alot of days that I just wish that SOMETHING WAS ON THE MENU. I know, I know, that is the addict in me talking, and I am committed to staying clean, but sometimes, I wish that a cup of coffee would give me the 12-hours-of-power that the Subs did.
I guess we're in this together.
P.S. you're something of a legend on the Kenai Peninsula as my Dr uses your blog as inspirational reading for his patiets. He's pretty hard to impress, so way to go!
Man, I was sober for years then I had a short 5 day relapse. Ended up in the hospital then detox and they put me on this shit. Now I've been on it for 2 months and I don't know how to stop taking it. Every time I try I can't do anything... life just stops.... I get depressed and have no energy and feel dead inside which is unacceptable because I have a good full time job plus I'm a full time computer science student. Doctors are such drug dealers, there's so much hypocrisy and it's the government, the pharmaceutical corporations, and the doctors at fault not us. Diseased people are treated so poorly in the case of addiction.
Thank you for your posting. I was on metadone and switched to suboxone about 6 months ago. The switch itself was hell for about a week. I am now down to 10 mg of suboxone a day and am trying to go down 2 mg/week. Even at 10 mg, I am excessively tired and a little depressed. I no longer have insurance, so I have to taper with what I have left (not much). I'm pretty scared, but I work from home, so I can sleep alot and don't have to impress anyone. Do you have any hints about the tapering process that might help me.
Thanks,
lv
I just found your post and i can relate to your experience. Withdrawal was really the hardest thing i've gone through in my life, but now i'm ok!
Im a wife of a huspamd dealing.with this, I wish I could support him more, but feel like I keep getting lied to, do I just keep being patient and let him taper on,his own, I dont want to be his mom, just wish hed confide in me more! Ahhhh so hard!
As someone who has been dragged through hell from sticking by an addict-- I just need to vent: you people are assholes. ASSHOLES. Selfish, ugly, lying, miserable, shit talking, hurtful, ungrateful, people using ASSHOLES.
That said, I hope you all reach sobriety and better lives.
Every one of you need to thank and be kind to the people in your lives that support you, care for you, put up with you at your worst because they love you.
It's really hard for us to stick around even when we truly love you.
My wife has stuck by my side through Oxy, hydro, suboxone, diladid, and methadone withdrawns and not ONCE has she seen it as a "chore". You are just a shitty wife.... Remeber that part in the wedding vowels? For better or worse
I am a mother and wife. I am prescribed xanax and adderall as I am an extremely adhd young woman and I have had anxiety my whole life, and to be more honest, the child of two parents in and out of recovery my whole life with lots of trauma. I had gotten addicted to OCs years ago (over 4) and with help of doctor I kicked my habit within days and gave all but maybe 10 subs it took me to kick the OCs to a girlfriend suffering addiction. That was it, I've never touched an oc again and no Sub withdrawl (I guess because I took so few). As any addict I picked up a norco habit about 2 years ago that then turned to Methadone. I was able to cold turkey that slip up (also take into consideration my husband is corporate man who does NOTHING and I have to hide this all...the money, withdrawal, guilt and of he found out the verbal, mental and emotional consequences would be HORRIBLE). Then my hairstylist showed me how mixing a piece of SUB with my adderall together, which she is prescribed to both, make u have so much energy and a more euphoric high. I was only taking LITTLE PIECES for 4 months I am guesstimating. I have kicked the subs because my family need me and the people attached them weren't worth it, but a week later and I am DYING! Nauseous, anxiety, depression, rage, cold ALL THE TIME. I can't tell my husband and don't know what to do! I mean, call a sub doctor to withdrawal from subs...or methadone clinic.. (joking :/)
I am falling behind in everything and my irratic behavior is hurting relationships. I am sooo tempted to get some OCs and get temp relief till I can figure it out as I was not prepared for this SUB withdrawal at ALL! THIS IS SOOO SAD!!!! I HATE NARCOTIC PRESCRIPTION MEDS!!! I was a model, friend, happy person and now I'm a junky :..... (
AMEN!!!! I FEEL THE SAME WAY AND YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW YOU. I KNOW YOUR PAIN! ♥
I'm on subs and live in lower 48 I've been working in Alaska for the last 34 days and just ran out. It's there anyone willing to sell a few to last until I get back into my Dr at home? bbdriller4oil@gmail.com
If you need someone to talk to let me know. If I were you I'd try to do the same and quit before spring semester. The longer you go the harder it will be. If you lower the subs to about .50 mg before you jump you can get through it without being made completely useless. Its hard to work with the withdrawl but it's possible. Let me know if you need any more advice. I know I'm only ok on day 2 well kinda 3 because the amount I took last was < .10 anyway let me know if you need any help since our situations are so similar.
I just had the same talk with a close friend of mine after we lost a great close friend to pills.they didn't care what would happen after they made oc's,they just care about the money.just a drug dealer,what they want repeat customers.they knew it would take over people's lifes.if u haven't look at when oc's first came out and how they pushed doctors to give it to people. I wish u the best of luck.living in my own hell,almost back on my feet.its a long road
It seems quite hard to overcome drug addiction. I am worried about my best friend that is also trying to quit opiate consumption. I would like to recommend her to join the suboxone treatment virginia beach rehab center so that she can get treatment in expert supervision.
Down in VA Beach right path treatment center. Best move I made.
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Good luck
I kicked 120mg 3x's over 4 months, well not totally but each time from 4 to 6 weeks in my local jail so I never got to feel better before I got back on the street and to my clinic. What you said ppl come off it different is 100% true my binky looked like he was coming off 4 bundle a day habit but while he was puking n shitting his pants I was busy loosing 10lbs of weight ever 3 min and kicking the walls with my shin. I eventually kicked it gradually bringing dose down and I can remember the day I finally knew it was over after 97 days of anxiety and depression the last about 6 weeks but I won't hold you hostage anymore so a story for another time "how'd I know it was over" haha
It all sucks!!!
Well for me it's been a very long road with all of it! I live in Phoenix Arizona and it's so cheap to get high here. The fake blues are less than a dollar and G is about the same. People don't have a reason to quit. But the end game is so bad for the people here. I stuck a needle in my arm for 35 years. I'm about to quit the subs and for me and I only speak for me I still want to get high so bad. It's a daily struggle with me and only for me. I have been on the subs for about 2 years and I'm down to four mg a day. I'm tired of pissing in a cup. I'm 54 years old and more than half of those 53 years I was either dope sick or in a rehab or in a physician care for suicidal actions. The end game is so hard as well as trying to get some dope. I wish all the people here all the bear and know this if nothing else. It's great to wake up and nope bei
Being dope sick it really is
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